The only certainty to life is change.
Here is the truth about what I have learned during this last year: life never goes according to plan.
Most of you are probably shaking your heads saying, “YUP” and I hear you.
If you asked me what my plan was last April of 2019 I would have told you the following:
April:
Bachelorette Party
Execute Empty Bowls and raise (300k more this year) for REFB
May:
1st weekend Howard and Gary’s Wedding
2nd weekend Bec’s graduation
3rd weekend Ryan graduation
4th weekend chill
June
MARRY THE LOVE OF MY LIFE 6.1.2019
I can tell you that all of those things happened and they went great, we raised the most amount of money Empty Bowls has brought in for the Redwood Empire Food Bank.
I married the love of my life surrounded by our closest friends and family.
But one very large thing happened that was not a part of my plans, my health.
On May 14th,(3 weeks before our wedding) I got a call that I had been diagnosed with Lyme Disease and I told the doctor, wait no this actually isn’t a part of my plans I am sorry did you mix up the tests?
Yes I legitimately asked that because I am a 2W3 and if you know anything about an enneagram 2 we are planners to the max.
But this wasn’t a part of my plan, at all. I honestly thought in my head “but we have been through enough can you please give us a break for at least the first year of our marriage.”
Ryan and I had already lost a handful of close friends and family members in a really short amount of time that I almost felt like we had paid our dues to some extent, you know?
I didn't tell anyone except for some family and really close friends about my diagnosis because I felt lost.
We went through our whole wedding celebration not letting anyone know what was going on because we didn’t have the time nor space to process what was happening.
We went on our honeymoon to Thailand and had the most relaxing time unwinding from the stress from the last month and reminiscing on our wonderful wedding weekend.
THEN
We got home and I started treating my Lyme Disease hard. I quit my dream job at The Redwood Empire Food Bank and I started going to treatment 3-4x a week for 6-8 hours a day.
My veins blew out pretty quickly because of all the IV’s and medication that I got a port put in and learned how to live this new way of life.
It was bleek.
I was sick everyday.
I have chronic fevers now and a whole host of other medical complications that we will get into later.
But you know what I learned?
1.) I needed time to process my pain and grief over the fact that my life would never be the same as before I got really sick.
2.) I learned how to shift my perspective and allowed myself the time to heal and accept my new reality.
I read somewhere that we never let go of the pain that we have endured when we have experienced a trauma, we instead learn how to soften into it.
This experience has taught me ( and is still teaching me) so much.
For one I never take a day for granted.
I always make sure to ask “how are you doing today” instead of “how are you doing” because you never know what someone is experiencing in that day.
I learned that asking how you are doing today is more encompassing and I think that all of us in quarantine are learning that our moods and how we are feeling can vary from day to day.
I can now look back on the 9 hard months of IV antibiotics that I did for my Lyme disease and think I am freaking warrior and that I have so much more compassion for those that are sick.
Talk soon my friend.
Xo,
Ali
