An open letter to myself

Dear Ali, you are allowed to receive miracles.
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Just because your life has been hard does not mean that it always has to be that way.
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Just because this part of your health journey was a success does not mean it is going to be a failure later on, that is your trauma talking.
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You are allowed to feel relief from your pain.
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You are allowed to be happy to see your Doctor because he understands the depth of your pain and suffering.
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You are allowed to know what it feels like to have walked through the darkest days of your life and know that you can experience great joy.
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You are also allowed to weep for the days that you have lost your strength.
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You are allowed to grieve the moments that you have missed out on your life because of Dr’s appts, insurance calls, IV rooms, etc.
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But I want you to forgive yourself.
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I want you to forgive yourself for thinking that it was all in your head and that you were making a big deal of it.
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I want you to forgive yourself for thinking that you were not strong enough to handle it all.
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I want you to forgive yourself for the friendships you have let go of because they could not understand the depths of your pain.
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I want you to forgive yourself for losing your faith.
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For loosing your faith in others, for loosing your faith in something bigger than yourself.
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I want you to know that days ahead will still be hard, you will still have moments where you doubt yourself, your career, your healing and to forgive yourself in advance for those days.
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You would have never been here if you didn’t go through those days of endless tests, needles, masks, pricks, anesthesia, ports, IV lines, it wouldn’t have given you the power to fight back.
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To say enough is enough.
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It wouldn’t have given you the knowledge and deep empathy for others that are facing health struggles.
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Hurt people do not have to hurt people.
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Healed people can heal people.
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You are no less whole because you have been through the above.
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You are allowed to take up space. ❤️
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Love,
Ali

Highly recommend writing yourself a letter, it’s very healing. ❤️